When a Friend Miscarries: What to Do & What Not to Do

The problem with real life is that many times it is very difficult. Being a godly friend to those going through difficult times can be really challenging. Angie & I have walked through the deep waters of miscarriage three times. Sadly, the first time Angie didn’t have the benefit of a Christian supportive husband. I look back at those times with deep regret. We have truly seen God as the God of all comfort in our own lives, and experienced some unique ministry opportunities as a result.

One thing I have not yet done, that Ben Neff has done, is communicate what to do and say to those who have experienced miscarriage in their lives and what not to say and do to those who have experienced miscarriages in their lives. His post is forged in the foundry of personal affliction as you’ll see below. Please take time to read his post:

On January 19, 2011, my wife and I went through a miscarriage. Since that time I have had people ask me what would be good and bad things to say to someone during that time as they seek to better understand how to minister to others in this time of pain. I put together some of the common statements that we have had people say to us, along with other common things I think are said that do not help during this time of grief. Please realize though that neither of these lists are exhaustive, but hopefully this will help with a lot of the main do’s and dont’s. I trust that these will help you better understand how to reach out to couples who are going through this time in their life.

The rest of the article at Cross Centered Counseling.

Resources on Miscarriage and Infertility at Faith Resources.


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