Why You Can’t Understand Someone Who Suffers With Chronic Pain

Because I can’t understand it myself. Here’s a glimpse inside a journal I keep from a month ago: 

When I awoke at my alarm ringing this am, I was intrigued to find my left arm had no feeling: good, bad, indifferent. When showering I noticed some popping and sensitivity at the shoulder and very slight pain in the arm. What to make of it? 

This is what concerns me: the ebb and flow of pain. I don’t understand it. If it hurt all the time I would think something is wrong, but these days give me fragile hope that it fixed itself. Ha

Sometimes on days like today I wonder if I’m healed. But then I feel a twinge of pain and my faith erodes. 

That’s just how the struggle goes.

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